Mr CB made a HUGE cheesecake for a friend and I got to help by testing the mixture then licking the whisk, spatula and bowl afterwards. Here's the approximate recipe (because he made it up), currently being dictated to me.
For the base:
14 to 16 digestive biscuits (value brand work fine for this)
1 tbsp caster sugar
For the topping:
1/4 pint double cream
A generous splash of vanilla essence (added to taste)
600g soft cheese (this is exactly 3 packs of Tesco Everyday Value cream cheese) - be sure to drain any moisture off the top.
10 tbsp icing sugar
1/2 bar of melted dark cooking chocolate
Put biscuits into a large sandwich bag and (I quote) "twat very hard with a rolling pin" until they're all crumbs. Melt the butter and mix with the caster sugar. Add the crushed biscuits and use your hands to mix together. Squish it all into a loose bottomed cake tin. Put it in the freezer for 1/ 2 hour to harden and make it easier to apply the topping.
Add the vanilla to the cream then whip. Add the cheese and sift in the icing sugar, beat together until is forms "one smooth, even, creamy blob". Using a spatula dollop it onto the base and spread it evenly.
Melt the cooking chocolate and drizzle liberally over the topping so that it looks like a chocolaty Jackson Pollock.