I've been feeling unsettlled lately but it only hit me yesterday after I'd worn myself out with housework after a busy week at work, then sat in the sun feeling drained. I realised that because of the age I'm at and other circumstances there are certain major decisions hanging over me that must be made; nothing I want to write about here but it would be downright dishonest of me to pretend everything is rosy and bright in my mind at the moment. It's also made me realise that in the stress and struggle of recent years I've fallen out of touch with myself, like forgetting about an old friend. I'm quite a reflective person but have perhaps fallen into the natural temptation not to reflect too deeply for fear of what I'll find.
There are always good things to be enjoyed though, and feeling like this causes me to reflect on those things too, keeping me balanced. We got a new bench for the yard yesterday so I have somewhere to sit that isn't the hard front step and because I'm awake early I've come to sit outside on a beautiful and quiet Sunday morning. It's just me, the singing birds, a busy rook strutting around the street and the cats. Actually, a cat was stalking the rook stealthily then the tiny dog from up the road came galloping along and scarred them both off, which looked very daft!
I've promised myself that today will be a day with plenty of quiet time and pleasant things like good coffee, planting seeds, writing and sewing. I'm wishing you an equally lovely Sunday too.