Friday, 3 July 2015

Back to the beginning

My lapse in blogging has been playing on my mind lately. I questioned myself on why I stopped and, in the process, came to a better understanding of why I started in the first place. I started Crafty Blueberry at a time when I was beginning to explore what makes me happy. Finding what makes you happy sounds so simple, but...! I wanted to use my blog to record the happy-making things in my daily life, especially at a time of financial and emotional turmoil. I wrote for myself and enjoyed meeting other bloggers, reading blogs for inspiration and sharing what I’d made and done.

So what changed?

Well, when I started the blog all I really wanted to do was knit, crochet and bake. Truly excellent things, but as time’s passed I’ve found myself interested in a wider variety of things that don’t fall under the ‘crafty’ umbrella. For some reason I’ve had it in my head that because my blog’s called Crafty Blueberry it has to be about crafting. Where on earth did I get that idea from? Talk about self-limiting! The less stuff I made, the less I believed I had to write about. Silly Laura.

But that’s not the only reason I stopped writing. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I had a spot of **blushes** blog envy. I follow some excellent blogs, with stunning photos and wise, funny, interesting words. I did something I avoid fairly successfully elsewhere in my life: I compared my writing to other peoples. The big no no! Of course I came off worse as that’s what happens when you compare anything you’re insecure about with anyone else, so that was another thing that eroded my will to blog a little bit more.

That’s why I started then stopped; why am I back? I’ve been using Pinterest a lot lately and, through it, finding lots of blogs that are new to me. Reading all those great blogs has reminded me that when I wasn’t worrying about it I really enjoyed blogging. This time around I’m questioning my hesitation and making myself face the fears and not hide from them by avoiding writing. Crafty Blueberry has always drawn my focus back to what I enjoy when I’ve been taking life - and myself! - too seriously.

For me, coming back to Blogland makes the beginning of a personal mission to face my fears and do more of what I enjoy.

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